When I first started staying at home, finding time to do things that I loved was a lot easier. Sure, I had a baby, but she could go anywhere I went and sit in one of her millions of seats while I did what I wanted to do. I'll never forget the day that last seat (the jumperoo) went in basement storage. I thought, "what am I going to do now?" That lovely time of doing the things I wanted to do when I wanted to do them went right out the window. And when I had my second child, well you can just forget it! I am robot-mom. I am wife. I clean. I change diapers. I feed people.
At some point, I realized that EVERYTHING I did revolved around my husband or children. I didn't have any hobbies and rarely took time for myself. While I had Mom2Mom (hooray!) that encouraged me in my role as a mom, I still ended up talking about my husband and kids all the time. What I needed was something just for myself, someplace where people would actually use my name, Ashley, instead of calling me Natalie's mom. Now I want to say that I am so proud to be a mom and that I would have it no other way than to be at home with my kids. When they are your daytime, nighttime, every time job, however, it's so easy to sacrifice yourself and the things you love. I didn't even know I was doing it!!! If I continued on this path for too long, I knew that I would be lost as soon as my kids hit school. Simply said, God called me to be Ashley. When my parents named me, they didn't name me Mom. I am a person with passions, interests and God calls me to use those things for His glory.
Okay, so I needed something in my life just for myself. Maybe I could take a class? No, that sounded like a lot of money. Maybe I could join a club? I really need a hobby first if I'm going to join a club. Maybe I'm just not cut out for staying at home, and I should go back to work? No, God called me to this, and I'm committed to it. I prayed through it and decided to start a small business at home selling cosmetics. I gave it my absolute all for a year and then knew it would be too much once my son was born. At the time, it was just what I needed. Time out. A chance to dress up. A chance to make some goals for myself and be rewarded for meeting them. But when all those things became hindrances more than rewards, I knew it was no longer meeting my needs. (Side note: I did this because I wanted the fun - not the money. If you have a small business and are doing it because you need the money - DON'T QUIT.) It was time for me to move on. I ended on learning to sew, and it has been a great blessing. It has been a great chance for me to connect with my mom since she spends much of her retirement in her sewing room. Also, God has opened up many doors for me to make things for people in need. Yes, sometimes I still sew things for my kids, but mainly I just sew. It's my own little place to be creative, and finishing something is just the reward I need.
What do you have in your life that is just for you? If you see yourself in this, what can you do today to help you find "that thing" you need? Here are some questions to ask yourself:
1. Did God give me a special talent that I enjoy and that can be used for His glory?
2. How does our family schedule look and where can I carve out the time to do this?
3. Is there an activity or group that speaks to my heart and that I can find a way to serve? (In blessing others, we also receive blessing and satisfaction!)
4. What is it that I crave - more time alone? more time in God's Word? more time with people? a creative outlet?
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